The Senility Prayer
God, Grant me the Senility
to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm older, here is what I have discovered --
- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
- My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
- I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
- It's funny, but I don't remember being absent minded.
- All reports are in ... Life is now officially unfair.
- If all is not lost, where is it????
- It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
- Some days you are the dog. Some days you are the hydrant.
- I wish the buck stopped here, I could use a few.
- Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
- Accidents in the back seat cause . . . kids.
- It is hard to make a comeback when you have never been anywhere.
- The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.
- If God had wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
- When I am finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
- It is not hard to meet expenses . . . they are everywhere.
- The only differences between a rut and a grave are the depth and one has the ends kicked out.
- These days I spend a lot of time thinking about the here after.....
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I am here after.......
- If I wake up of a morning and nothing hurts, it may be a good indication that I have died during the night.
Oh, Well . . . I am lost! I have gone out looking for myself.
If I should return before I get back, PLEASE ask me to wait!!
For Auld Lang Syne, My Friends
Yeah, I know you can't Remember When . . . ??, but I am reminding you now!!!
Love and Peace,